surprise, surprise. well at least i've gotten the random class to teach here and there, even if most have been cancelled. Guess thats what I should expect seeing as the bunkasai is coming up. thus...on to random notes about japan i have thought of!
every morning i cautiously walk out of my door and every evening i cautious walk into it. why? you might ask. well, ever since the latest frog attack of course. and by this, i mean the random frogs that will stick themselves to the overhang and decide to scare the latest poor joe who happens to be walking beneath them. as the last one smacked my shirt and i shrieked all i could think of was WHY?!?!?! But that seems to have been my life recently. Frogs here drop well...like western flies. :P
apparently if its rather thin material and polo, shirts dont have to be white to end up being see-through when it rains. unfortunately i found that out the hard way. fortunately i was turning into the apt driveway when it actually became see-through.
the weather is getting colder here. at least early in the mornings and late at night. while i'm not incredibly fond of the cold, the chill air is actually rather refreshing in my opinion. at least when im riding my bike anyways. call me weird, for liking it and im not even sure why, but i just do.
i've managed to actually figure out that the huge sheet they give us is actually the week's schedule of all the teacher. well except me of course, but i understand- im not a real teacher (omg, did i just spend 5 attempts trying to spell that word??? damn...) after all. But in any case, using the handy dandy denshi jisho i've been able to decipher the names of the english teachers (took me a while to figure out it was names i was first trying to look up, go figure why it didn't make sense). its become especially handy when i've needed to know when i could corner a teacher to ask about lesson plans and the like at least.
and about Makke-money. Well this is sad, but tbh, very few kids have come up and talked to me. And about half of those few kids didn't even know about it. I mean, that's the way I prefer, but...in any case, i'm wondering if I should lower how much they need so they'll be more likely to try (it's sad that's how low their motivation is, shy? i think not entirely...) but maybe i should, although going to the yamaya and seeing that the candy i got was not regularly stocked im incredibly nervous now. none of the new candy is anything i recognize, except for m&ms. so looks like thatd have to be the candy of choice. at least it's something i suppose. i wouldnt have been so wasteful had i known that though...x_x curses. that said though, now i'm quite torn whether i should lower the money needed for the kids to get the candy. saa....
i've picked up naruto again, and it's at least going somewhere this time. i think after i catch up, i'll work on bleach as well. that's a relief as dramas were starting to get a bit old for me. it's nice to switch things up.
recently, i've thought about starting fanfiction again. i know, right? but apparently, according to my CW teacher, original fiction abilities isn't something i possess. oh well. just means i guess useless fluff without the need to character develop is what i gotta resort to. might be good for another distraction. and there's definitely feelings that might be nice to see on paper and between characters that aren't me. i realized i've become so selfish when i write, and my world really has been centered around me. maybe writing about other people might help me get in tune with other people too. granted, i was selfish when i wrote fanfiction back then too, but at least the sense of empathy (even with made up characters) was an ability i could easily access...
on the brief personal side, i've been working on not caring. inspired by sasuke's air of focus and composure has helped of course too. ew, but i guess i wouldn't mind having some of that. yappari, the fake cheerful thing doesn't work for me. too exhausting...so it's been a bit of flop between anger, hatred, loneliness, despair, and obsessiveness. although the whole general air of not caring has whittled those feelings down at least to wear i've become numb enough for the most part to actually not care. but that's as brief as i'd like to keep those thoughts.
anyways just recieved a flyer. looks like they'll have some performance today although it'll run till 4:30. god knows i can't really understand it though, just shows how much my japanese sucks. wonder, though if that means there's a club meeting or not...who knows.
this weekend's gonna be exhausting with the bunkasai friday and the international one in sendai on sunday. might just use monday to get my guitar, if i can indeed practice (edited: i just asked and seems like i can!XD). it'd actually be rather nice to be able to practice at my own pace and my own stuff in that room since im not good enough to keep up with the students to practice whatever they're playing as nice as that'd be. maybe after the winter break I'll be good enough....haha...maybe. still haven't figured out how to transport it by bike though...might just have to walk a couple times to get it from place to place, which I guess works. still also would be torn as to wether to bring it back with me or just sell it back to the pawn shop. it'd be nice to have a real sized guitar, but god it'd be a hassle. it was hard enough getting from place to place before, and I'd have no idea where to put it on the plane...x_x sad.
though that dream will probably only ever be a dream, it's still nice.
speaking of dreams, though, i've been having some disturbing nightmares. but not to the extent where i wake up screaming. god forbit that ever happen to me. i guess nothing in my past have ever been so troubling. seems no matter what my dream is i almost always wake up with the same feelings of ''....ah, i'm awake.'' still though, what happened in them was not exactly my cup of tea...but it's not something i really care to go into detail here, even though no one is probably reading (i still don't wanna take that chance).
i got a business card from the nippon travel agency. was a bit excited at first, and it reminded me of what else i had planned on doing. though it only has the phone number for furukawa, so perhaps it's just domestic travel. ''oh well'' i thought. it gave me a lead or two maybe. good thing I have a week or so do all that.
interesting, that i was considering letting s-san read this, but after the encounter that friday, my defenses shot up. plus im sure Id get reprimanded for this too. so of course, now there's no way in hell. ''oh well.''
its interesting that the teachers say sorry when they give me stuff to grade or comment on. i dont know if they genuinly think its a bother to me or not, but...honestly i don't min. my neck my get a bit stiff, but at least i'm being honestly busy. damn when my need to be productive kicks in when there's nothing to do. but i guess that's human nature too. maybe.
also, i always get riddiculously nervous when asking teachers if I can eat with their class, but i've been able to peice together how to kinda ask in Japanese. and they almost always say ''yeah, sure that's fine.'' but it's just like me to get nervous anyways. and i realized i should've written down their classes, but that's also just like me not to think ahead. i'm still also not positive who eats with the students, and if I ask and just get told names, it'll end up being a forehead slapping situation. complete with sweat-drop to boot.
guess that's it. time to go pretend to be productive i guess...(aka read fanfiction).
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