though with all the hype, maybe it means there wont be clubs? i hope...not that i hate it, but i suck so much at the guitar. well, at least im not in physical discomfort today.
i had a girl come up to me the other day and say ''what's up, buttercup?'' as large question marks popped up all around me, i was a bit confused and weary cause im pretty sure she was the girl i prevented from cheating, and in turn figured she hated me. also, i genuinly had no clue what she was talking about. then it hit me today, as that was a saying from like, middle school years. which brings me to my next point, where did she learn That from?... o_o
it was raining this morning, and windy as hell. which caused my skirt to get soaked And fly up as i was riding my bike. luckily i wasn't really within sight of many cars...but it was pretty miserable being cold and wet and entering school looking like a drowned err...cat.
naruto-and the cat episode..so silly..though im sure plenty of fan girls were all over sasuke, cat ears, and acting like a playful kitty. :P sorry, random thought.
looks like its getting a bit sunnier out, as the light smacks me in the face, though there are some heavy, dark-looking clouds out still. would be nice though if i could go home without too much wind or rain.
ugh..i think i'm gaining weight. yuck.
not sure if there's kyuudou tonight, but i guess i might as well show up as if there is. can celebrate later if there isn't.
been having some weird dreams lately. first one, about me and being in a pool facility in the middle of a forest, trying to block out this dog/bear beast that was coming at me by holding up a door that was too small for its frame. huh...
also, last night, had a dream about being at college, of course as usual, the atmosphere is weird. i also remember picking up some food at a gas station out in the middle of nowhere. these places that i keep revisiting in my dream that i've more or less made up(with the atmosphere and familiarity of a cross between c-ville and college)are Really weird...anyways, so yeah. picking up food, something having to do with my sis...can't really remember too well though.
oh, made a friend, i think...we'll see how long it takes me to crash and butcher this one...x_x as simple as i am that the idea of making friends make me happy, i think i always end up in tears, wondering what i did wrong because they never stick around...*sigh* moving on.
drinking party this weekend. yeah. should be good, i hope. though not looking forward to more expensive raw fish and strange-tasting food, no offense x_x its too bad i'll be missing the volunteer group enaki, though it will mean i'll save a few bucks and my tastebuds. i will say, in my defense though, what the hell? why would they set it on a thursday night, when they Know i teach? I guess the rest of them are retired or something...well good for them. also, saying ''we won't drink until late'' doesnt exactly convince me i can suddenly go. its Still the night before school.
still haven't got the courage to ask the kyuudou instructor about the cake event (and i feel so bad for calling it that, but i have no idea what it really is)...must try tomorrow night, but i so fear her wrath at my suckiness at Japanese.
i really want a toaster oven. i really wanna bake cookies...*_* but thats just more money to spend...its only just barely december, and with paying for school lunches and my bills, i really dont have any extra i should be spending...wah..
was thinking of writing, but every time it passes through my mind, i suddenly feel really lazy. yeah..i still can't decide which series to do, which would help...both would work well...
i recently came across an old poem from years ago. not mine, but...it hurt to read, though i guess just about anything now does when it has to do with him..one might ask, if its so painful then it would never work out. but, its the fact that he won't accept me, as the reason why it hurts. vicious cycle. no matter how i think about it or how i act, i'll lose. and no matter what, i guess i can't help but be the fool.
oh dear..its so quiet in the teacher's room. just me and the lunch lady (the cuter one. guess everyone out for that...reasearch/study/class thats in kanji so i dont really know what it is...even dictionaries seem to fail me for the most part.
speaking of which, i recieved a booklet so i can learn the students names. but it doesnt really help as its all in kanji too and there are so many god awful ways to read a person's name...maybe ill ask t-chan for help...heh. eh, thats what friends do with each other anyways. use 'em while u can, right?..heh..
my hands have been sore lately. i blame it on the abuse of the double whammy which is guitar and kyuudou. btw, did i mention how physically weak i am?...x_x
i found i might have another option. maybe...if i can ever find another chance to talk to the kindergarten teacher, i just might have another option for when i go back to the states. any options are considered after all since i'll basically be wandering aimlessly anyways, at least, after i complete the quest to my true feelings and future in that regard...
speaking of which, that reminds me of another part in my dream. i flew back to the states, then realized i was being tricked into teaching little kids there. i was enraged and upset and said i wanted to go back to Japan and teach (between plane rides and runs between random hotels o_o). huh...my feelings have rarely ever been so clear. but maybe i enjoy it here more than i think..
been making a list of activities, or rather adding to them. i would love to do them all, but the opportunity rarely arises, since teaching plans at the middle school and the one elementary school are fairly strict. and the one where i do have some freedom i dont go to very often..sad.
also, ive been told i can take pics, yay! just can't sell them, like hell i would. jeez, what do they take me for? oh well..
by the way, its true that japanese children need to be told every little detailed instruction or they won't understand it. god forbid, that would explain a little, why its so hard to get them to understand any game i try and teach...
at lunch yesterday, i was asked to sing in front of the students. chicken out, of course and said i would after school, but i havent seen the girl since..heh. guess if its meant to happen it will. totally dont have the guts to go Looking for embarrasment, thats for sure.
still haven't decided to sign up for japanese classes...so much effort. and the place is kinda far, despite what that volunteer leader says...haa...plus, more money spent and less time on the weekends to relax and at least semi-recoup.
guess thats it. well that was satisfyingly length, no? lolz.
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